Is it Love or Infatuation?

Back on December 1, 1990 I cut the following Ann Landers column out of the paper and put it on my refrigerator. Mind you I would not meet Steve for 4 more years. It is still on my refrigerator today. I don't know if I've ever shared this on my blog or not, but I thought about it the other day and know it's worthy of posting again:

Essay's Message still as relevant as ever:

Dear Ann Landers: Last weekend while going through some family photos, I found this old column. The message is as relevant as it was 15 years ago.

These days, when divorce is commonplace and teen-age pregnancy at an all-time high, people need tangible guidelines. Please reprint this column.

Here is Ann's Reply: The essay you've asked me to rerun is one of the most frequently requested. I'm pleased to publish it again. Thanks for asking. Is it Love or Infatuation?

Infatuation is instant desire - one set of glands calling to another.

Love is friendship that has caught fire. It takes root and grows, one day at a time.

Infatuation is marked by a feeling of insecurity. You are excited and eager but not genuinely happy. There are nagging doubts, unanswered questions, little bits and pieces about your beloved that you would just as soon not examine too closely. It might spoil the dream.

Love is the quiet understanding and mature acceptance of imperfection. It is real. It give you strength and grows beyond you - to bolster your beloved. You are warmed by his/her presence, even when he/she is away. Miles do not separate you. You want him/her near. But near or far, you know he/she is yours and you can wait.

Infatuations says, "We must get married right away. I can't risk losing him". Love says "Be patient. He/she is yours. Plan your future with confidence".

Infatuation has an element of sexual excitement. Whenever you are in one's another's company you are hoping it will end in intimacy. Love is the maturation of friendship. You must be friends before you are lovers (here I would add and married).

Infatuation lacks confidence. When he's away, you wonder if he's cheating. Sometimes you check.

Love means trust. You are calm, secure and unthreatened. He feels your trust and it makes him even more trustworthy. Infatuation might lead you to do things you'll regret later, but love never will.

Love lifts you up. It makes you look up. It makes you think up. It makes you a better person then you were before.

~

The only thing I would add to this is that he or she must be a follower of Christ. You must keep him in the center of your relationship.

A "Merry Christmas" in July Party & Award

E-Mom over at Chrysalis is having a Christmas Party! Since coming back from some cold temps out west this just feels right. She has several things to check out so head on over and have some fun! One thing that blew me away is she gave me an award!! Now I haven't been blogging regularly in quite a while, and E-mom is one of my faithful commenters. Not only that but I have been so blessed by her teachings over at Chrysalis, so me getting an award from her is ~ well a big deal! Thanks E-mom! Here is my award:

Here are the rules attached to this award:

1. Thank the person who gave you this award.

2. Share 7 things about yourself.

3. Pass the award along to 15 bloggers who you have recently discovered and who you think are fantastic!

4. Contact the bloggers you’ve picked and let them know about the award.

So I am supposed to share 7 things about myself. WoW do they have to be interesting? I don't know if I have 7 things to share that would peak someones interests, hummm....... let's try:

1. I can read while traveling. I know many people, my daughter and mother included who get car sick if they read. I so appreciate the fact I can read while riding. It helps the time pass.
2. I have been told I have Indian as part of my ancestry. You can see it in my mom and a few sisters, but it appears if that is true, the only thing I received from it is my bone straight hair. Some day I would like to research this to see if it indeed is true or legend. On our recent trip though I asked the kids who this old Indian woman looked like in a picture and they both said "grandma".
3. When in a museum I cannot stand and read all the information near exhibits. I'm more a visual person. My husband on the other hand can spend hours doing it. So I wait alot at the the end of exhibits for him. Good thing I have a book to read!
4. When I was younger my hair was so blonde someone asked if I bleached it. I was in 6th grade. Do mothers let their 6th graders bleach their hair? I know mine wouldn't!!!
5. I used to collect tea cups. I have them all boxed up downstairs in storage, because we have not place for them to display. My favorite cup came from my sister Kam and her husband Jeff. It belonged to his grandparents. It has 22 carat gold trim on it. It's dainty and beautiful! The largest part of the collection came from my Grandma Olsen through my mother.
   
6. I was once in a television commercial. It was very short lived and was for the insurance company I worked for. I didn't think anyone would see it, but my sister told me she was watching T.V. and there I was. It didn't air very long.
7. Speaking of insurance. That is what I did before I became a mom. I was an underwriter at Lake States Insurance Company, based out of Traverse City Michigan. I had been in insurance for quite a few years. My favorite job though was being a Commercial Lines Rater (they are the ones who calculate the premiums on policies). I am a numbers person, and this job dealt in that. I miss it actually. Don't know if I could do it again or not, very rusty!

Well there you have it. 7 things you may not have known.

I am also supposed to give this to 15 new blogs I have gone to, but I haven't been stepping out lately to new blogs. Just my tried and true! There is one I have gone to that I love, but she has received the award from E-mom too. It's Stones of Remembrance! Can you see why went to her blog in the first place? Her posts have blessed my heart!

Postscript

So there you have it. The Letters to the 7 churches. I would love to know which church struck a cord with you the most? What relevance to you believe these letters have to us today? I myself see these churches as not only literal churches, but a representation of different aspects of the "church" today. A foreshadowing if you will.

I have so enjoyed digging into these 2 chapters. I pray that for any of you that have read these posts, that they have encouraged you also, and have made you take a closer look at yourself, to guard against becoming as one of these.

Christ stands at the door and knocks, offering the most rewarding relationship a person could ever ask for. Do not let anything stand in the way of that!

To him who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.

The Church in Laodicea

To the Angel of the church of Laodicea write: The words of the Amen), the faithful and true witness(Rev 1:5; 3:7 19:11), the beginning of God's creation (Col 1:15-18). In Christ we have the great AMEN. In Christ we have the faithful and true witness. In Christ we have been given Creation. I love how he ends these letters with AMEN. So be it, may it be fulfilled.

However here comes the words.

I know your works.

Let me just say that out of all the churches it stinks to be Laodicea! In all the other churches, Christ could find a few who remained faithful. Even in Sardis. Not so Laodicea. When I think of what Christ says to them ~ you are neither hot nor cold. Would that you were either cold or hot! So because you are lukewarm, and neither hot or cold, I will spit (to vomit, vomit forth, throw up) you out of my mouth. ~ I think of hot or cold drinks. Hot drinks comfort, cold drinks refresh. But when a hot drink grows cold or lukewarm it is not as comforting and most times just doesn't taste good, and if a cold drink grows lukewarm, it loses it's refreshing abilities. Neither of them do what they were intended to do, so why drink them? There is absolutely no reason for their existence if they do not do what they were intended to do. Christ's words here are even more extreme then just a spit out. The word translated means what it says above. Those are pretty strong words don't you think?

These people thought they had it all together. They thought "hey what do we need from God? We've got everything we could need." Notice all the "I's" in the passage. "I am rich, I have prospered, and I need nothing". Notice they don't even need each other. They are completely and totally self sufficient! They do not even recognize that they are wretched, pitiable (to be pitied, miserable) poor, blind and naked! Here they are strutting around and saying look at me, when all those around them are saying "How sad". Talk about living in a world of delusion! Can I get an AMEN!

Christ gives them counsel to come to him for gold that has been refined by fire, then they will truly be rich. He would give them white garments so that they could cloth themselves and the shame of their nakedness. He would give them salve (balm) to anoint their eyes so they would see. Christ OFFERED all this freely to the church of Laodicea. They refused. He reminds them that he reproves and disciplines those he loves, so be zealous and REPENT.

Christ continues to beckon to this church. He says (in the very familiar passage) "I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him and he with me." He desires relationship. All this church and we need to do is open the door, and he will come in. Recognition is so important here. This church did not recognize their condition, and we in the church today do not recognize our condition. Christ still counsels, and knocks. Are we listening and opening the door, or are we totally self sufficient and in need of nothing, not even the love of our Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ? Are we wretched, pitiable (that one really gets me), poor, blind and naked; and the world is looking at us and saying "how sad"?

The one who conquers (overcomes, over powers, triumphs), I will grant him to with me on my throne, as I also conquered and sat down with my Father on his throne. Christ is giving of his inheritance to us! If we persevere we will one day reign with Christ!

He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.

The Church in Philadelphia

To the Angel of the church of Philadelphia write: "The words of the holy one, the true one, (Rev 6:10) who has the key of David (Is 22:22), who opens and no one will shut, who shuts and no one opens (Job 12:14).

The church that suffered discrimination.

I know your works. Christ tells the Church of Philadelphia that he has set before them an open door, which no one is able to shut. Christ is the only one who can offer the invitation. He is the only one that has the key of David. He is the only one with authority. He is the only one who can open or shut the door to God's kingdom. So many people today believe there are many ways to God. We who trust in God, and believe that scripture says Christ is the holy one, the true one, believe also that he is the ONLY way to God the Father.

He speaks of the little power that they have, YET they have kept his word and did not deny his name. How often do you grow weary in doing good(Gal. 6:9)? This church is commended for continuing in the face of persecution. Christ tells them he recognizes their faithfulness. Doesn't that give you strength to go on, knowing that HE KNOWS YOUR WORKS? The Jewish community in Philadelphia did not except this church, but then how could the Jews except them? If they excepted them and allowed them into the synagogue they would be acknowledging Christ. These Christians were thought of as lesser then the Jews that lived in the city. BUT Christ knew them! He knew their faith and perseverance. He also KNEW the hearts of the Jews. He know they were not of his kingdom, they were of the synagogue of Satan. Christ also gives the church a look at the future, when those who have persecuted them, those who have said they are nothing will LEARN THAT I HAVE LOVED YOU! There will come a time when they (Jews and religious pharisees of today) will no longer be able to deny Christ's "true church". Christ will even make them to bow down before the church! How humbling will that be? And how precious to the "true church", to know and feel the love of their Savior!

This next part has been interpreted differently by people with different view points. I am not enough of a Bible scholar to tackle that in itself, so I will just say it as I see it. There is a time where the church WILL experience tribulation. We saw that back in the study of the precious Church in Smyrna. But because of their (Philadelphia) patient endurance they will be "kept from the hour of trial that is coming on the whole world" The definition of "kept" in Strong's says this "to attend to carefully, take care of; to guard". No matter what, Christ will be there. Whether we are taken before the tribulation, during the tribulation, or after the tribulation. He has promised to never leave us or forsake us and that we will reign with him in glory. That is enough for me. Do I want to suffer persecution or tribulation? Do I want my children too? NO, but I believe that Christ will give me what I need to persevere, and that is enough for me.

He is coming soon! We today, as the church did then, must HOLD FAST to what we have, that NO ONE may seize our crown.

The one who conquers (overcomes, over powers, triumphs) Christ will make him a pillar in the temple of God. He will never leave it! He will never be excluded from coming to God or being with God. There will be no religious superiority anymore! He will have written on him, the name of Christ's God; the name of the city of God, the new Jerusalem; and Christ own new name. He will belong to God and no one can separate him from the love of God!

He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.

The Church in Sardis

The dead church.

And to the angel of the church of Sardis write: The words of him who has the seven spirits of God (Rev 1:4) and the seven stars (Rev 1:16).

I know your works. You have the reputation of being alive, but you are dead. Christ starts out with a very direct statement of their condition. No commendations for them, only rebuke.

How would that statement sit with you? On the outside you are alive, but what is on the inside is dead and dieing. This reminds me of the portion of the 7 woes in Matthew 23: 27 & 28 (which started this study) where Christ talks to the Pharisees about being white washed tombs. All pretty on the outside, but decaying on the inside. What makes a church end up like this? What fundamental issue is lost? Could it be they have watered down the gospel?

I need to mention this here. Whether it pertains to this church or not. There is a church in our area that in recent years the pastor has stated that he believes there are other ways to heaven then through Jesus Christ. He learned this while in Rome. When he was in one of the churches he noticed that the sun shone through the Apostle Peter as much as it did Jesus, so he had an epiphany. Just in the last couple of weeks the church he was once pastor of (when he had his epiphany) took the cross of their building because it is offensive to others. They are now an inclusive congregation that takes peoples from all religions. They are no longer closed minded and intolerant. It is a slippery sloop that one climbs on when taking the TRUE gospel and distorting and destroying it!

WAKE UP and strengthen what remains and is about to die! There was still time to repent. To wake up and continue the work that was not yet complete. There was still hope for this church, how be it small. REMEMBER then, what you have received and heard. KEEP IT AND REPENT!

~An interesting note from Sardis' history. Twice it had been captured while their watchmen slept. So sleeping is something they do well in Sardis, and it has worked against them, as scripture always says ( check out these scriptures on Watchmen & sluggards: Is 56:10; Prov. 6:9)~

Christ mentions, as he does elsewhere in scripture that if they do not wake up, he will come as a thief, and no one would be prepared for his coming. Could it be that in the church that I mentioned above, someone was sleeping and allowed the heresy to take place, and now look where they are?

"YET, you have still a few in Sardis, people who have not soiled their garments, and they will walk with me in white, for they are worthy." Another remnant. Even in churches who are dead or about to die there is a small remnant of godly people who are worthy. Here again is a called for the righteous to persevere.

The one who conquers (overcomes, over powers, triumphs) will be clothed thus in white garments (the raiment of victory!!!) and I will NEVER blot his name out of the book of life. I will confess his name BEFORE my Father and before His angels!

He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches!

The Church in Thyatira

The tolerant church.

To the Angel of the church inThyatira write: The words of the Son of God, who has eyes like a flame of fire, and whose feet are like burnished bronze. (Rev. 1:14-15)

I know your works.

Things they were commended for:

• Their Love
• Their Faith,
• Their Service
• Their Patient Endurance
• Their latter works exceed the first (opposite of the Church in Ephesus)

BUT I have this against you:

• You tolerated that woman Jezebel, who calls herself a prophetess and is teaching and seducing my servants to practice sexual immorality and to eat food sacrificed to idols.
  

This church is long on love. They serve tirelessly ( I see a church dedicated to social justice). But they lack discernment and tolerate heresy. They appear to go a step further then the Church of Pergamum and seem to accept her teaching. Could you possibly hear someone in this church say, "hey there are many ways to God, live and let live". "God is love, and we must except all people and the way they believe". "you cannot love the person, if you do not just except them the way they are". The list can go on and on of statements you could add to what someone in this church might say.

Jezebel (whether the original who married Ahab, or the spirit of her, or another Jezebel, we do not know) was given time to repent of her sexual immorality (Rev 2:21), but she REFUSED. Here I wonder why Christ has already mentioned the sin of sexual immorality twice? Three things will happen concerning this refusal:

1. Jezebel will be thrown unto a sickbed. She will cease from a role of importance, and like the first Jezebel will be no more.
   
2. Those that have fallen for her false teaching will be given time to repent, but will experience great tribulation.
3. Her children (those who proclaim her teaching as correct) will be struck dead.
   

Harsh words! But this is serious stuff. God throughout scripture has told of his laws, and people throughout history has either ignored, changed, or intentionally distorted them.

Christ says, "all churches will know that I AM HE, WHO SEARCHES MIND AND HEART (1 Chron. 28:9) AND I WILL GIVE TO EACH OF YOU ACCORDING TO YOUR WORKS." Just as God throughout the Old Testament, especially in Ezekial says "Then they will know that I am the LORD." Christ is saying this here. Then they will know who he is, when he does what he has said he will do. This is not something that might happen, it will happen.

There was a remnant though. In verse 24 Christ speaks to the rest who do not hold this teaching, who have not learned what some call "the deep things of Satan". To those he says he does not lay on them any other burden. He says "only hold fast what you have until I come." This speaks of persevering. Again STANDING FIRM IN THE TRUTH. Even against opposition that will make you out to be mean, cold hearted, intolerant, bigots. Family and friends may not understand why you can think such things, why you can be so closed minded. But Christ calls up to be set apart. He calls us to speak truth. Yes of course in love, but that love does not mean we except sin that will destroy the people we are called to love.

Another question to think about. How scary is the statement "the deep things of Satan"?! Doesn't if just make you wonder how far the depravity can go? How deep and sinister the king of this world is and what he will used to try and destroy those who will fall for his lies! Please remember anyone who may be reading this who does not know Christ ~ Satan is not out to show you a good time, to let you live your live for yourself, NO he wants to destroy you, he wants to keep you from finding the freedom in Christ. There are many who think that in following Christ there is bondage, but the TRUE bondage is in allowing Satan freedom to destroy you body and soul.

The one who conquers (overcomes, over powers, triumphs) and keeps my works until the end (persevering) to him I will give authority over the nations, and he will rule them with a rod of iron, as when earthen pots are broken in pieces, even as I myself (Christ) have received authority from my Father (God) (notice Christ calls him his father here, Christ was not just a prophet, but the True Son of God, as he mentioned in his description). And I (Christ) will give him the Morning Star (Christ himself).

How glorious is that! Instead of bondage, destruction and eternal damnation, we get authority, rule, and to top it all off CHRIST HIMSELF!

He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches!