Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Did I hender God's work?

Edit note: I just wanted to let you all know of something that has happened with this situation. After the e-mail I received and responded to, I decided I wanted to meet with this person and apologize in person. We e-mailed back and forth and decided to meet last night. While on vacation I prayed about this situation and what God would have me do and say. Well needless to say I was a little nervous. I have never been good in situations like this. I am an avoider, but that is not what God wants any of us to be, so a new layer is torn away. It was a good meeting. We were both honest with each other. She asked me afterward what I expected. I told her nothing I just wanted to apologize, and have her know my heart and I wanted to know hers. I told her I never want to hinder God's work, and if I did I truly am sorry for that. He is who I love! He is who I serve! I realized through this meeting and a little before that I am slowly getting rid of my people pleasing personality and looking only to the One who I truly want to please! Again thanks for your prayers and for letting me sound off here!

I had a situation happen today that I feel I just have to write about as part of God and I processing it. I will not go into great detail about the situation, but will explain a little of the it with my many thoughts.

A while ago I had someone approach me about serving in Children's Ministries. This person was very new to the church and the opportunity they spoke to me about is a leadership role. I had concerns for varied reasons, but said that I will contact her to hear more of her testimony. We had a little contact, but I never sat up the meeting. I still had doubts, and without going into further detail that kept me from pursuing any further conversation quickly. I thought of her often, but never called or e-mailed. I was at one of these walls I get to and do nothing with.

So today I get an e-mail from her stating how disappointed she was with how I handled things. She has noticed my requests for help in Children's Ministries, but it this is how I handle things, she sees why that is. She no longer wants to help there. She did say that it has not made her want to leave the church, which I am glad for. I would hate that my inability to handle the situation properly would bring her to that end. I am thankful she is still worshiping with us.

Here is one of the things she said "It was in the bulletin for at least 4 weeks. During this 4 week, I felt a tug on my heart to volunteer for this position. I prayed about it continually for those 4 week, and then I finally said OK God I think I hear what you are asking."

So I am left with the question: Even though things didn't seem like they fit to me because she was so new to the church, because I didn't know her faith walk, because I (and this is a big one) didn't trust the situation, did I hinder the work of God? I don't know! I may never know, but God and I will be dealing with this and I will be confessing alot to Him and asking for forgiveness. I have already asked for her forgiveness. I don't know if it will be accepted or change anything. She may think it's just words too. I feel bad that I allowed this to happen and there's nothing I can do about it now, other then pray, and seek God's wisdom, not my own.

These things I do know:

  • I did not do this maliciously.
  • I truly want God's person in this spot
  • I don't want to hinder God's work at Lighthouse or anywhere else for that matter
  • I truly am sorry that it got to this point
I just needed to get it off my chest. Now God and I can deal with it.

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11 comments:

Mari said...

Kim - I hurt for you. If you are like me, you are going over and over this in your head, thinking about how things could have gone better. I don't have any great advice, but I will pray for you and for her.

e-Mom said...

Just a "listening ear" today. Thanks for sharing what's on your heart. :~D

Hugs, e-Mom

Jennifer said...

That had to be really hard to share. I am sure your hesitation with the situation was because of your deep love and desire for the best for our youngest disciples. I am sure you are doing this already but I say just keep covering it with prayer.
Hugs!

2Thinks said...

People will always disappoint us. All people, everywhere. God will never disappoint us. Can we really hinder God's work? I think not. He's the one working all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to his purpose. You love him. You have been called by him. He calls you his own. We do our best. He does the rest. Don't let it get you down. God knows your heart and he will work out the details. It doesn't sound to me like you did anything wrong.

Look Up! Eyes on Jesus.

In love-
Heidi

Connie said...

I feel for you in your situation.
At our church, we have a rule in place that does not allow anyone to take on a job like that until they have been a member for one year. I think that is wise. This gives the church and the person a chance to get to know each other and to find out what is expected of each other. Maybe a talk with your Pastor would help her understand and also help you too.
Remember things will work out.

Beth in NC said...

Kim, I have been placed in similar situations.

Ok, this is my opinion (not that you asked), but her response to you shows great immaturity and offense. If she had been wise about this situation, she would have prayed and trusted God to move on YOUR heart IF she was to step into that role.

Do not beat yourself up (though I KNOW it makes you feel uncomfortable). I don't think you hindered God's work.

Hugs,
b

Cheryl said...

Things happen for a reason. Go where God leads you. We don't always know HIS plans but sounds to me like you have done your part. Things will work out for you. Hang in there. I miss my blogging buddy;) Have a good week my friend!

Carol said...

It's goood that you got it off your chest and good that you feel able to share.
I haven't got an answer.
Obviously with childrens workers you have to 'extra' careful and if you don't really know someone that can make it a littled strained.

I wonder, while you often thought of her did you pray about her at the same time?

From my own experience, if I find myself thinking of someone quite often it usually turns out that I need to contact that person. And if I don't then that's when something goes amiss.

I don't think you've done anything wrong. You were cautious. Have you hindered God's work? We may never know, but I do believe that God lets situations happen to see how both sets of people will react.

You have confessed and asked for forgiveness. His face will be shining on you for that.

(Forgive me if you feel I'm being outspoken.)

Erica said...

Awh, glad you got it off your chest. And I think you did the right thing at this point. Nobody is perfect, sometimes we don't trust when we should and we trust some things we should've thought twice about. I'll pray that things work out for the best for her and your children' church! God can turn anything around!

bluecottonmemory said...

As a person who has volunteered and never got a call back, it is frustrating. When a person volunteers, they're putting themselves at risk for rejection, maybe they're not good enough. Volunteering at our church also allows them to do a background search, so we're allowing people to "test" our very nobility, to nose around in our life.

Our youth minister said one time that when people approach him, his attitude is,"what do you want from me?" Needless to say, he's no longer a youth minister at our church.

Being new to a church is like being the new kid in school. You want to be a part, to help. I'm going to be moving, finding a new church. It would be sad if people didn't trust me just because I was new.

It's a tough situation on both sides. You're already involved, busy, have connections. You're probably overworked, like so many church workers are.

However, she's on fire to work, to belong, to become part of the church family.

Best of blessings in your situation!

Robin @ Be Still and Know said...

Followed a link from "2 Thinks"

It is so difficult to discern why someone else's want to do something! From personal experience I can always tell when God is calling me into a place of service. It is a bit different when I am faced with trying to make a decision about someone else's motives.

My gut tells me that the tone of her dissapointment is a key, quite possible she was looking to serve for personal reason not God reasons??

God knows!... and His plan if we will but get out of His way is aways best. It is discerning His will that at times can be hindered by human motives.

Just a few unsolicited thoughts!

Blessings
Robin